i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Drake has all the answers
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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