I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
