Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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