Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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