She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
