did you get engaged???
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
