i need an iv and a liver transplant
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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