You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
