i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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