U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize
