Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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