So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
