She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
