Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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