so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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