My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
