nut hugger
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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