The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
