idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
