so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
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I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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