having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just found puke in my bra..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
