too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
