I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
