just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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