I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
