ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
