can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
