Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
