Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So apparently I’m into choking now
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