They should really pass out barf bags in church
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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