New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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