You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
