The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have aggressive nipples.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
