I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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