Are we in a gay sports bar?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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