I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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