I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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