You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
