can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
