Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I would fuck him just for his dog
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
