Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
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Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
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I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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