a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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