I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize