I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
