White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
