How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
