How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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