I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
