chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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