you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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