omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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