Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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