i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
