We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
