First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize