My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
