just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
