I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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