ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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