you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
